Today.

Hello baby,thanks for a lovely day just now,it sure brought me back to when things are simpler,if i had a choice,i wanted that back.to when it was only you and me loving each other no complications,just happiness to go through what life throw at us.It was really good to see u again..
the dream that i had,was us and our family..that little kiddo.I didn't know how to tell you,thats y i didn't but i know thats what kept me fighting,another day to live and make things work.I miss it..I miss it so much, just us...i need you as my friend,lover,girlfriend...im not after status..i want the shahirah that was with me when i had an accident and brought me to the hospital,i want the shahirah who nurse my wounds..the one that surprise me with cakes and presents on my birthday..the one that would just enjoy sitting with me and gaze at the stars.The shahirah that would settle for just me..the average zul..But you cant...i dont know why all of the sudden everything change for you.Okay until here then..im off,my condition is worstening baby,
but im fighting,fighting to look forward to continue our life..zushaboom right?Ill bring my phone along you can try to reach me,but the doctor said ill be asleep most of the time.I dont know whats in store for me,ill bear the pain,Im doing this for my family,friends,me and ultimately you..I love you baby truly i do.Ill see you again i promise.=)

Relive it..our dreams,our moments..

Hey babyy,you wont be able to reach me when youre reading this,Another session at the hospital.It gonna suck being there alone,Somehow i feel that ure close to me.Well i got ure pic with me in my hand all is good.I don't want to argue animore babyy you should be able to realize for yourself what we built since the 1st 25th,what we risk losing.All i can do is pray that your heart will be open once more,relive our moments,relive them all,im willing to make you more happy,if you would reach out..Remember what you say one time,Left me speechless and loving you so strong..It goes something like this..

Sunday, December 7, 2008 I feel numb, I feel lost. Words were stuck on my tongue, unable to roll out into sentences. I'm glad you're still here sticking around. I know you're trying. And i can only thank God as much. Babe, i could never be any happier with anyone else, you take me to cloud nine and i dont want to come down yet. And when everything's in a daze, you make it perfectly clear for me to see that we could still stand strong. For the past seventeen months, we are still in love. Just like the first. And that's how i want it to end - it never ends. I know you love me deep, and you know i know it too that i'll always love you more. Thankyou Zully, you're a wonder, a gift from God and certainly, you're my painkiller. PS Goodnight and sweet dreams love after you read this.:}

Im still sticking around..
Take care of yourself love,i dont know when ill be back..
Im gonna miss you my little mongster =)
And im sure as hell i still love you since the 1st day.
Bye bye babyy...

empty

My heart has stopped frozen.
My breathe gets harder and harder.
I am dying..

Somehow,feels like im not here,god has plans for me.
No one lives forever,no one knows when thier time is up,while we are still breathing,everyone needs someone special that can stick thru them till that day.As for me.i just lost her..
Feels like im losing myself.
Feels like its worst than death itself.

You and i both.

Escaping to a wonderland where theres only you..

For you..

Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angry
Call I'm desperate for your voice
Listening to the song we used to sing
In the car, do you remember
Butterfly, Early Summer
It's playing on repeat, Just like when we would meet

I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Stripped and polished, I am new, I am fresh
I am feeling so ambitious, you and me, flesh to flesh
Because every breath that you will take
when you are sitting next to me
will bring life into my deepest hopes, What's your fantasy?
What's your...

I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

And I'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)

I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have) 

So close yet so far..

We're so close yet so far..
The way you make me smile.
The way u make me laugh.
The way you share your love with me.
The way we are together.
The way you kissed me.
The way you hugged me.

You and i we both share a joy beyond words before,even though for a short while,i was happy he existed,he was ours.Now and forever.Things with me..are not working out well for you at the moment,u may think im tying you down you may think im shutting you out,But the whole truth is..there was never any barrier covering you,i know times like this will come when ure feelings for me will slowly fade,but my love..ive never regretted..ive never regretted..this ring on my hand now,nvr will i take it off,let me take all your burden..let me be the one who fall for you..let me be the one who cry alone..let me be the one to take all your sins away,my love my feelings for you are true as can be,ive done unthinkable things,do the craziest things to make you happy,in the end is all in your hand,right now.. i might not be the right one for you,i might not be good enough for you,i might not have any financial status,but you know..i have done whatever it takes to fulfill your wishes..19 to 29,its a long way i know,thinking about how far away the distance is,makes you feel scared that im the only one you'll be stuck with..i know its hard,its hard for me to accept it.but ive learnt,even after everything,this heart will always be for you..but only when you are ready..after you, there will be no other..my first and my last,ive given everything to you..but i know to make you happy theres only one answer..let me live the life for the family that i once had,call me crazy,eversince we started,there was never any ending for me..my life..ive surrended it all..to you..and our child,ill be the one watching you from far, keep loving you..thats the only thing i can do to repent,im willing,3 days i have not slept..don't think that ive forgotten you..youre the only one is my mind,you're the one this tears are for.Ive never stop loving you..never.Thats who i am now..thats what i m living for..all this for my love,my forever soul mate..be happy love..